How am I feeling? Well at this moment at 6:30 in the morning, I am feeling as very good. I slept 7 hours with only one ‘get up to go pee’. Had to take an anti-nausea pill then but the nausea is now gone. And I do not feel the fatigue that was here yesterday. So this is great. I hope it lasts. It’s Saturday and I have Reiki treatment coming up this afternoon.
Yesterday was my worst day. I woke up from a long sleep in a Phoenix Tears haze that seemed to amphlify the fatigue I had felt the night before. I swore off phoenix tears that morning and am now using melatonin sleeping pills. They don’t mess my mornings up. I guess I am just not a stoner.
At my chemo appointment on Day One I met a very stoned and happy guy about my age with cancer that was not going away but it was being kept very small. He claimed it was the Phoenix Tears that did it. He seemed like a joyful guy excited about being legally stoned all the time, but cannabis does not do that for me.
So the symptoms of what I felt yesterday and to some extent the days before were fatigue, nausea, stomach churn and difficulty eating. The experience is not consistent; they all come and go.
Day I of radiation was Ok. I had nausea and a bit of fatigue and stomach churn but not much.
Day 2 I had a bit more of Day 1 symptoms but yesterday, Day 3, was challenging. Adding more and persistent nausea and stomach churn to the fatigue is not pleasant.
The fatigue was bad and I had to sleep during the day for 3 hours. I just feel tired most of the time. Not sleepy tired but weak. It also exacerbates the muscle tensions I commonly get in my neck and shoulders. So I am always stretching and massaging them. That said, we went through our day and went for a long walk, I did some yoga, watched the Raptors, so it’s not debilitating just uncomfortable.
The nausea mostly went away but I had stomach churn a lot. It’s a tiny bit painful and tastes ugly, just the feeling that I am about to throw up. Fortunately they gave me a pill that I can take every four hours for that and it seems to work. So maybe that is under control. I don’t feel it today yet. It comes and goes.
Eating was a chore again yesterday and kept Linda frustrated. We had me up to 163 lbs on day 1 and now I am at 160.
Eating is a chore. I have trouble getting the food down even though the pain I used to feel in my throat when I swallowed has gone away. I am not sure why. I can now swallow water easily and before I could not.
As I said before this experience changes from day to day. A week ago I went to my family doctor about sores in my cheeks that were bugging me and he prescribed a mouth wash for canker sores. The mouth wash worked on those sores but also seemed to affect a sore deeper in my throat. That open sore is now healed. I thought it was the cancer. Who knew?
The phlegm build up is not so bad. I can now swallow water and pills very easily and I could not before. Strange?
So why can’t I eat? I am not hungry. I have no interest in food for pleasure or food for fuel. No appetite for it. I look at it and it just looks back at me grossly and challenges me to eat it like I know I have to.
They say the taste buds change from radiation and maybe that is part of it. Food still tastes generally the same but I have noticed that the Ensure drink I like (Strawberry) does not seem to be as sweet. I don’t enjoy it like I used to. But it is still functional as I use it to chase more solid food down.
Anyway the food just goes in my mouth and does not want to go down my throat. I struggle to force it down and once it’s there it just sits there without the normal swallow.
And then there is the constipation. I will spare you the details.
I keep thinking that the human body is so amazing. When is functioning at its top level everything just seems to mesh, but it can go wrong in so many ways, major things and minor. Even the little things that go wrong can mess up your day. I sure hope eating is not this kind of problem forever. I guess it could be and I will get used to it.
Since I did not post this until late Saturday afternoon, I will briefly catch you up. I had a lot of fatigue and reflux today.
At 7:0 this morning I started to feel that stomach churn happening. And I got up to that feeling of fatigue. I took my anti nausea made a smoothie. That turned out to be my meal so far today. I had a bowl of soup but I don’t feel like eating. I am too woozy. It comes and goes.
I did go for an energy treatment today that really helped with fatigue. I feel better now at 3:30 in the afternoon. Going for a walk soon and then watching basketball tonight.
What I am realizing as I write this is that in some ways I am experiencing so far is not much more than a small deviation from normal. What people in real pain and illness experience is far worse. I can barely relate to how bad some people might have it.